His Weirdo, Her Monster
by 3rdAuror
Summary: She blames the Nargels, he thinks it's cute. It is the only valid explanation, right? Loony Lovegood and the Slytherin Prince? Together? Talk about a match made in hell. But somehow, they'l make it work. HBP through post DH Draco/Luna oneshots.


**Disclaimer: Whenever I see that word I feel really bad about myself, that should answer the question of whether or not I am J.K.**

**1 ~ Selfish**

The earthy smell of the wet grass forced its way through his nostrils, the thick fog stinging his grey orbs and making them slightly bleary. Draco adjusted his tie for the tenth time in the last minute and raised an eyebrow in his friend's direction pointedly. Zabini rolled his eyes before adjusting his tie as well and leading the way. The pair dragged themselves to the large, empty tent, the only sounds that ricocheted in the mist-tainted air were that of their footsteps shuffling against the recently scraped cobblestone path, the dull mournful organ that sung its sorrowful notes proudly and of course the sound of others, moving their chairs or leaving.

The two boys, no young men walked as silently as they could and slipped into the already fleeting crowd effortlessly. The body had already been buried, why loiter around as the grieved mourned their brother, their son, their cousin, their boyfriend and their friend.

Their friend.

Draco Malfoy barely knew Colin Creevey, but his boyfriend Blake Walsh had been his friend. He still was his friend, Blake just couldn't see that. But today Draco wasn't here for just Blake, he was here to talk to Luna Lovegood.

Blaise sneered, watching every passing person with a look of contempt. "I can't believe you convinced me to come to this thing."

"You didn't complain when I suggested it." Draco didn't look at him as he spoke, his grey eyes desperately scanned every single one of the tent's occupants for a glimpse of dirty blonde hair and far-away blue eyes.

"That's because I thought we were here to pay our respects to your friend's mudblood boyfriend," The war had ended a week ago. The Dark Lord had died. There was no longer any need for the two purebloods to pretend they abhorred relations with Muggleborns and Bloodtraitors, but old habits die hard and Blaise Zabini barely even knew Creevey.

Blaise Zabini was here for Blake. "I didn't know this was some stupid excuse for you to talk to her."

Draco rolled his eyes and walked faster, having caught a glimpse of the short, neatly brushed black hair that could only belong to Blake Walsh. He could feel Zabini hesitate, but still follow him through the jungle of metallic chairs that dug into his sides harshly as they passed. Draco slowed as he approached his friend who was currently sitting, elbows supported on his thighs and his head resting on the tips of his fingers.

Draco didn't speak as he slid in to seat beside his friend. He noted the redness of Blake's ears and the drying tearstains on his dark grey slacks.

He wanted to speak, but what could he say? _I'm sorry that your boyfriend died. I'm sorry that you couldn't save him. I'm sorry that I ever sided with Voldemort. I'm sorry that it was my fault._

Because it was his fault, all Draco's fault. If Draco had saved Luna when he had the chance, Creevey wouldn't have been so reckless. If Draco had done what he was supposed to do Creevey wouldn't have died. If Draco had been a good boyfriend, hell, a good person Creevey wouldn't have to give his life to save Luna's.

Everyone blamed him. Blake did, the Creevey's did and so did Luna.

That's what hurt him the most, Luna Lovegood, who had somehow always been able to see the good within him blamed him for her friend's death. Luna Lovegood, who Draco he would never be able to live without wanted him dead because it was his fault.

Draco breathed a shaky breath. "Blake I'm-"

"Save the bullshit for someone who cares _Malfoy_." Blake interrupted bitterly.

Blake hadn't called him Malfoy since the first time they'd met. But back then there was no malice, no venom, just hesitance and slight reproach. Then again, back then Blake didn't hate him, he was just scared of Draco's reputation.

The liar, the bully. That's what he was. He would never change. And Colin was dead because of that.

"I know why your here," Blake went on, turning to face Malfoy with a glare. His face for all its admirable features –the symmetrically placed green eyes, the slightly slanted mouth that popped into place when he smiled and the light stubble of a beard- looked sunken and hollow. Like a ghost of his previous self. "Luna's at the grave. Probably thinking about you when we all know you don't deserve it."

Draco swallowed his shame. Of course he didn't deserve it, he never once deserved the chance to feel his heart beat a little faster when her soft lips brushed against his. He didn't deserve the privilege of looking at her beauty the way he did, he didn't deserve her affection. But to hear that, that she was thinking about him now. That sparked something within him, a little flicker of hope.

Draco stood and placed a, what he hoped would be comforting, hand on Blake's broad shoulder briefly then nodded to Blaise and left.

Blake was right, Draco was here to see Luna. Blake had always understood that Luna would forever be the most important person in Draco's life, whether his friend lost a boyfriend or his father was sent back to Azkaban. Luna was his life, he wasn't giving up on her just yet.

Blake sounded bitter though, like he hated the mere sight of the blonde Slytherin prince, but Draco knew better. Even after everything, he knew he had a friend in the strange little gay boy that hung around Luna Lovegood.

Draco breathed into his gloved hands and rubbed them together for warmth. Finding Luna wouldn't be the hard part, it was the prospect of talking to her that made his feet feel like frozen lead.

The last time Draco and Luna had had an actual coherent and civil conversation that did not involve screaming, hexing and/or snogging as a form of distraction had been before she was kidnapped. That was about 4 months ago, but in his head it felt like ages.

There was something about missing someone that made your time away from them pure agony.

Draco didn't even know what he was going to say to her, or how. Draco didn't know if she was going to explode in his face or simply ignore him like she'd done the previous times. Draco didn't know why he was doing this.

Only he did know why. He did what he did because he loved her. He loved her dreamy smile, he childlike laugh filled with wonder and curiosity. He loved her optimism and her good heart that was so different from the concrete slate in his chest. He loved her. He loved her so much.

She stood there, motionless.

He could only see her back, but from what he could see she'd paid special attention to herself today. Her hair fell of her head in simple, yet fashionable waves and she wore a breathtaking yellow dress that stopped just below her knee. Yellow had always been her colour, not that he cared, she looked perfect in anything and the fact that she never bothered herself with her appearance was one of the things he loved about her.

Yes, he still loved her. After every stupid thing they'd done to each other and after every mistake, that would never, ever change.

Draco cleared his throat and immediately regretted it when she turned to face him. She smiled sadly at first, probably thinking it was Blake coming to pay his respects. When her blue eyes took in his features they turned cold as ice, her smile slipping away as quickly as it came.

"Luna..." Draco would've preferred it if she frowned, if she screamed at him or showed some kind of emotion towards him, but she just stared. She stared at him with absolutely no expression.

He wanted her to say something.

She did. She spoke in a soft, barely audible whisper, but he heard her. He heard every syllable. "You didn't bring flowers." She pointed out as she looked away from him, robbing him of the chance to remain entranced be her beauty.

Of course Luna would say something so random and seemingly irrelevant, it was expected she always did. But this was forced, she didn't want to speak to him, or even look at him.

"I didn't feel the need to." Draco stepped closer, one inch at a time until he was behind her. Until he could literally breathe in her scent and let it consume him.

Luna did not comment on the closeness of his proximity, but she didn't act pleased either. She stared ahead, refusing to give him a second glance. Because she hated him? Or because she couldn't trust herself to be angry at him while she stared into his eyes?

At this rate, the latter was impossible. Draco had never seen Luna this detached.

"You should've brought flowers..." She wanted to say his name. Draco. She wanted to whisper it in that airy tone she always used whenever she said his name. He could hear it in the hitch of her voice.

Draco stepped closer, so close their bodies touched, his torso against her upper back. "It slipped my mind Luna."

Luna's body tensed, a shiver so strong Draco could feel it run down her spine. She turned to him, finally before pulling away from him. Her face, the beautiful face he could stare at for hours without ever getting bored adorned in pure, unadulterated rage. "A lot of things have been slipping your mind lately."

Draco felt something well up inside of himself. Not shame. He had felt the drag of shame for so long he knew it like he knew the back of his wand hand.

No, Draco Malfoy felt angry. Angry at himself for ever hurting Luna, angry at Voldemort for killing her loved ones, angry at the Chosen arse for being such a perfect yardstick and mostly angry at Luna for being so damned stubborn to see that she was slowly breaking him.

"Luna, your being-"

"Difficult," She cut in coldly as if reading his mind. "Irrational? Stubborn? Selfish?" Luna's eyes glared into his and a new feeling welled in over his anger. "That's the problem Draco. I am being irrational. I am being selfish because that's what you've turned me into!"

She was screaming at him now. Which felt strange, he always did the screaming in their relationship.

"I don't get you." He didn't, he was confused. What did she mean by selfish? Luna Lovegood was one of the most selfless and most honest people he'd ever met in his entire life. She was everything but selfish. But she seemed convinced.

She turned away from him and hugged herself, the way she always did when she felt ashamed. He was tempted to wrap his arms around her to provide her with some of his warmth, but thought twice and kept to himself.

"Of course you don't get me," Luna sighed. "You're selfish too, so you don't take a minute to think about anyone that isn't yourself."

Something within him cracked the way it always did when Luna spoke. Her words, however soft spoken and gentle or curt and cold had an enormous effect on him. They had the power to make him the happiest man in the world one instant and the might to make him nothing but a insignificant speck of dust on the sidewalk. "You're the only thing that has been running through my bloody mind this entire time! Why do you think I'm here!"

"Because _you_ want to be." Luna returned, her voice lowering to dangerous whisper. "_You_ want to prove to yourself that _you're_ not the fucking prat who traded his friends, his family and his so called girlfriend just to save his skin." She looked back at him, hurt and pain the only emotion swirling in her bright blue eyes. "I wanted to believe that you weren't all that. I thought that maybe you'd do the right thing, not because you felt like it, or because somebody told you to, but for me. For my sake _Draco_."

There it was, the soft and airy 'Draco' he loved to hear. She'd said it. She'd said his name.

"I thought that when you saw me, something in you would break. Maybe seeing me beaten and battered and torn up would let you show the slightest bit of your humanity..." She trailed off and looked at him as if he were some sort of alien. Like he was a confusing Arithmancy equation she couldn't put her head around. "I thought you'd scream for them to leave me alone. I thought you'd forget about what your father wants, about your mum and your family and think about what I meant to you. Draco I thought you loved me-"

"And that's what makes you selfish?" Draco finished for her. It made sense, that she'd think that way. Luna was so selfless she thought being human was a bad thing. That's exactly what should have happened, he should have broke. He should have saved her

She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head weakly. "No." Luna Lovegood breaths became heavy. "I'm selfish because no matter how much it hurts people I'm still in love with you."

She left.

**[][][]**

**Was it good? Awesome? Horrible? I'd really like to know so tell me what you think in a review.**

**This is a oneshot collection, but there will be a sequel to this particular one because I feel kind of bad for leaving you guys hanging like that. **

**Also, if you want I can prolong it and make it like five thousand words. If you want.**


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